But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
