The brown eye won't let me do that either.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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