wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
