time to smoke my breakfast
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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