so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
