Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
