btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
