I'm really into asian looking animals
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
pray to the hookup gods
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
