Well douche your snatch and let's go!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I didn't notice because vodka
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
