Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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