We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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