Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
