You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
