Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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