yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
