i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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