Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
