It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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