u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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