The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize