dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
now i know why i became what i already was.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
