I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize