she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Acid is not a monday night drug
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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