On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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