were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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