if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
how can u be prego again
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Vodka?
Forever.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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