I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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