Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Randomize
