I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
