i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
