i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize