People in love make me want to vomit
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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