Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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