Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
