I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
