thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am spending my child support on dildos
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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