I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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