I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
