what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
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You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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