Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
