I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
