I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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