All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
