shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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