It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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