I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I checked into jail on foursquare
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
