idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
