i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
