If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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