Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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