I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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