Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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