Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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